Things I have learned from this trip

1. Having my partner near me, steadies me and makes me a better person.
2. I am far to old to do things I don’t want to do anymore. I kind of new this already but it has been firmly cemented in my head. I spend too much time being sick to waste my ‘good’ time.
3. Having my partner near me, steadies me
4. People who say mean and cruel things under the guise of ‘telling you like it is’ are simply mean and cruel people.
5. The only one who knows what is best for me are the people who really love me and me.
6. I am not going to eat food I don’t like or food I know is not good for me. End of conversation. I am tired of these trips wherein I eat stuff that does not agree with me and then I am unable to eat anything that stays with me.[1]
7. I am going to eat food that I now my body likes and needs. It will generally be fresh and local.
8. I cannot cope with the heat. I especially cannot cope with it in a place other than home. At home I can get some comfort. I have air conditioning and comfortable furniture.
9. I am not going to let people walk over me. I am far too willing to compromise and take the path of least resistance even if that means I lose something. I am going to value my skills and myself much more highly.

 

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[1] This caused a bit of a problem when I refused to eat the M&M meat.

Gossip

We all know how hurtful gossip can be. We know that it can ruin reputations, hurt people and that it is a destructive force. Yet many of us continue to engage in this behavior. I have a confession to make. I like to listen to gossip. I do not tend to repeat gossip but I listen. My act of listening makes me an active participant in the act of gossiping.

Over the years, I have learned a great deal about what can happen to relationships when gossip happens. I once had a supervisor who would gossip to me about the people I worked with and she supervised. At first it was a lot of fun to spend time with her. She treated me like I was her confidante at the office. She asked me to report back on things that were going on in the office. She would tell me how competent I was in comparison to other staff. I loved the attention.

The longer I worked with her, the more negative things became. I started to notice that not only was I listening to her gossip; I was an active participant. I found myself saying horrible things about my co-workers. As things started to degenerate, I realized that I had to extricate myself. I came to realize that as much as she talked about other people to me, she would talk about me as well. Eventually, I knew I had to stay away from her because I would get sucked in every time. She was funny and engaging and I would participate in spite of my best intentions.

Over the years, I have learned to not spread gossip. However, I still listened to it. I am now in another situation where this has been my only role. I seem to have difficulty in not listening to others gossip to me. I am working really hard to integrate this lesson into my life. It is going to be hard. I am going to work really hard to figure out what is gossip and what is necessary information. I think it is going to be a work in progress for sure.

What about you? What have been your experiences with gossip? Have you been a victim? How do you handle it in your life?