Juneuary…

Well, the month of June has arrived in the lower mainland. Us locals refer to it more accurately as Juneuary. It is cold and it is wet. Our backyard (already in the flood plain) is completely soaked with pooling water once again. This does not bode well for getting the septic system fixed anytime soon. It has to dry out enough so that when Deb digs to the lid the hole does not fill with water. It is looking like August or September before it is dry enough out there for that to happen.

Thankfully we have mowed the lawns - front and back. The new ride-on did a great job plowing through 2-4 foot high grass. I can’t imagine how bad it would be right now if we hadn’t mowed. Now it will be too we for some time again. Hopefully the grass won’t grow too much in the interim.

There is one good thing about the rain - it beats down the allergens that cause my hay fever. Out here in Maple Ridge they hay…and I get real hay fever. I sneeze for hours on end until it feels like my head is going to blow up. I am also mocked ad nauseum for the noises I make when I sneeze. Noises which are completely involuntary.

Summer will arrive soon enough. Hopefully it won’t be too hot this year!

Free at last…

Since December 19, 2007 prednisone has been a steady medication in my life. I was started on it for the pyoderma gangrenosum I developed in November of 2007 when it was finally diagnosed correctly. Now you might be wondering why I am so happy to be off of prednisone. Well, the main reason is the sheer number of side effects which can be seen here and here.

Luckily I did not suffer all of the side effects. For some reason I do not seem to get the increased appetite side effect. I am not sure why but I have heard some people say they were so hungry on prednisone that they would eat Styrofoam. That is some serious hunger!!! I also did not gain weight on prednisone. I am not sure if the weight gain side effect comes because people are eating more or if it is just a side effect. I did get to enjoy some of prednisone’s other side effects. It affected my mood incredibly. I was depressed and anxious on it - especially at the highest dose of 80 mg per day. I have definately been slow to heal. I still have patches of shingles that are not healed - including the infected patch on my back. I have also had increased fatigue and weak muscles. There are other side effects I have had to deal with but I don’t want to bore everyone!

The other good thing about getting off the prednisone is that I get to go off of 2 other medications I was on to deal with the side effects. To deal with the emotional/mental side effects I have had to take clonazepam. I did have to wean off of this drug as the withdrawal looked a little scary. I can also stop taking pariet which I needed to deal with the stomach upset caused by prednisone.

Finally, to be off prednisone marks a huge victory in my battle with ulcerative colitis. The fact that I am off of it with no return of symptoms means that I am finally in remission. While the prednisone certainly helped get the symptoms under control it alone does not put colitis in remission. It is likely due to the imuran I have been taking since the beginning of January. As an immuno-suppressant, imuran works to depress the immune system so that it is no longer attacking my colon. Imuran is a drug given to transplant patients to stop them from rejecting the new organ. There are some serious side effects (including the risk of cancer - rare but it is there) however, given the choice between ulcerative colitis, losing my colon and taking imuran - I chose imuran. I am so looking forward to my health continuing to improve. For the first time in 3 years I am free of ulcerative colitis symptoms.

Things I can post about…

Well, there is lots going on in my life right now but I can’t post about it - at least not yet.

So, what is there to talk about? Well, music for one thing. I have discovered some really good new music - much by accident. I was listening to the CBC yesterday on my way home from the grocery store because there was nothing to eat in this house (even though the cupboards are overflowing…but that is another story) and Stephen Quinn played a song by Dustin Bentall. I thought I would hate it…but I loved it! He played Crash Hard. I had to buy it from iTunes immediately. I don’t know about the rest of the CD but if this is the kind of music he is putting out at 22 he has a bright, bright future ahead of him. I also downloaded Mercy by Duffy. This song has been going through my head since I saw her on Ellen. (Yes, I have to admit it, since I have been off sick I have been watching Ellen and much to the chagrin of Deb and Angelina she has exposed me to music they would prefer I did not listen too…but that is for another blog). You can see Duffy’s video for Mercy here.

What else - how about some dog updates. Piper seems to have calmed down and she is no longer playing ‘bowling for blind dogs.’ Keifer has discovered the garbage can again - which sucks. However he has been doing really well learning to ‘come’ at the park when there are distractions around. He really is quite smart and learns quickly. Much to Deb’s surprise he showed some interest in fetching a ball the other day. Mabel’s leg is looking much better with the antibiotics. She is being a very good girl and keeping it clean while not overdoing it. However she is way too smart for us. We are having to give her antibiotics and she is spitting them out and pulling them out of everything we put them in. Thankfully we only have 4 more days.

We are going to visit my mother for a couple of days next week. I am going to be installing a new computer for her at Radium. She is still running a Win 98SE machine and it is not meeting her needs anymore. I always think these will go relatively easy. I hope that is the case. My worst fear is dealing with setting up her internet connection with Telus. They have assured me that we do not need a new disk for Vista but I remain skeptical.

Oh, I caught the tail end of the Scripps Spelling Bee yesterday. All I can say is holy shit those kids are smart. I have an excellent vocabulary and a Masters degree and I had not heard of 98% of the words those kids were spelling. Totally blew me away. Congratulations to Sameer Mishra!!!

Mabel update

As some of you know Mabel has a cancerous tumor on her leg. It is open and icky. This follows the cancerous mass we had removed when she had a dental last fall. We had been trying to come up with things to do to help Mabel feel a bit better. (some ideas were a bit better than others and we got a lesson in ‘palliative care’ from Carol at SAINTS - where we adopted Mabel from). We took Mabel to vet on Thursday to get more tramadol and metacam to help with the pain and inflammation. We also got antibiotics as her leg is infected again. We will no longer be covering her leg or keeping a cone on her head to stop her from licking it. Hopefully, she will be able to keep it clean.

By yesterday she had finally recovered from being at the vet (it was just a short visit and a ride in the car) and was her usual barking self. I took a roast out of the oven and she was barking at me for some. I told her she had to wait so she went over and barked at the roast. Too funny. Her spirit and her will to live (and eat - the dog eats 3-4 times per day) is inspiring. She has gained a pound since the last time she was at the vets. We don’t know how long she has - we hope for a long time.

Adopting senior dogs was one of the best things we ever did. It has been incredibly rewarding. We have learned so much from Mabel and Mollie.

My name is Chris and I am an Internet Addict…

So we came home from the SAINTS fund raiser (and) on Saturday night to discover that something had happened to our internet connection. I didn’t think much of it as it was late and thought I would deal with it in the morning. I was thinking Shaw was just down and it would be fixed by the morning. Well, that was not the case. So, restarted the modem several times, restarted my computer and nothing. So I called them. We go through the usual questions about is it on a splitter, blah, blah, blah. I told him I had already restarted it several times and nothing. The bottom line was that they would have to send someone out and the earliest appointment they had was Wednesday. He asked if that was ok and I said no, I was not sure we could live without internet that long. Meanwhile Deb is asking me a bunch of questions that I could not know the answer to - like “could an animal have chewed through it?” I don’t freaking know!!! In all fairness, she did fix it the last time they said we were going to have to go days without internet. It involved a lot of duct tape as I recall but she got it to work.

At one point the tech suggested that we try the modem in a cable connection that works to make sure it was not the modem because then we could swap the modem out if it was broken. One minor problem - no Shaw outlets would be open until Tuesday - so this was only marginally better. I told him I would try the modem out in another outlet and call them back to cancel the appointment if it was the modem. Then he asks me if it is ok if he sends me an email confirmation of the appointment!!! I asked him how the hell I was supposed to get it?? He didn’t have an answer. I thought it was quite amusing.

Anyway, we had a bunch of errands to do. When we got home I tested the modem in the living room and it worked fine. Then the brain started to work. My first thought was attaching a splitter to the cable in the living room and figuring out how much co-axial cable we would need to run to my office (a hell of a lot is all I can say). Then I came up with the solution. I set up the network in the living room with the laptop and voila we now have internet again. I am not sure what we would have done without for several days.

The other ironic thing was my mother called me in the middle of setting up our alternative network to tell me that her connection was down and could I fix it for her (she is in Calgary and on Telus). I told her we were down to and my plan to fix ours. She said “you are all sure addicted to the internet can’t you wait until Wednesday??” As she was hanging up she said she was going to call Telus to get her connection up. I think the irony was lost on her.

And for the record, Deb and Angelina are as addicted as I am!!!

Privilege (heterosexual and others)

I am writing this blog entry in response to all the comments I received on facebook when I updated my status to indicate that I was annoyed by heterosexual privilege. Frankly, the comments surprised me but I guess I should not have been. Inherently, when one is in receipt of a societal privilege they may not be aware of it. This appears to be the case. Rather than going into a long drawn out explanation of heterosexual privilege I will refer you to an excellent blog entry written by Teh Portly Dyke. She does an excellent job explaining this and its impact on homosexuals. She also issues a challenge in her entry I encourage you to try it to gain a better understanding of how insidious heterosexual privilege is in our society.

Privilege is everywhere in our society and depending on your class, race, economic status or gender expression you may or may not enjoy privilege. Being Caucasian in our society affords you a great deal of privilege. Our society is geared to make life easier for people who are white. All of our institutions are inherently racist and difficult for people of colour to navigate and receive fair treatment. If you don’t believe me ask a person of colour what their experience is at a bank or worse trying to get welfare or other government services. When I worked in a downtown eastside welfare office in Vancouver there was a great deal of racism dished out to people of colour and particularly aboriginal people.

Class is another area of privilege. I certainly noticed that as a homeowner I am treated very differently by service people than I was when i was a renter. The white woman in Kerrisdale is treated much differently than an Aboriginal woman from the downtown eastside. Many of our judgements about class are rooted in the Protestant work ethic and Protestantism in general. One of the foremost Protestant thinkers, John Calvin, believed that it was predetermined who was going to heaven and who was not. Those people who were successful in life were assumed to be going to heaven and therefore treated differently from those who were impoverished. It was also believed that if those who were not successful ‘just tried a little harder’ they too could be successful. The old adage of ‘pulling up their boot straps’ applied. We may not consciously think this way but these ideas inform our culture and the way we view the world and the people in it.

Gender expression is another area of privilege. Those who fit into society’s binary gender roles of male and female enjoy privilege. There is no question which bathroom to use and you are treated with respect. Those who are gender queer, gender ambiguous or trans have murky waters to navigate. A male to female transsexual for example may be harassed for using the woman’s bathroom. Gender expression seems to invoke violent responses from some people. Many trans people are routinely targeted for abuse by people in our society who are uncomfortable with their gender expression.

It is interesting to talk to people who are different from you and to learn how privilege or the lack thereof impacts their lives. As a white woman I know that I enjoy a fair amount of privilege in our society. I have privileges of class, race and gender. However, somethings work against me. As a fat lesbian woman I have been the target of discrimination and hate although not that often. The group with the most privilege in our society are straight, white men. It is interesting to determine what privilege you enjoy and why you have it. Deconstructing privilege helps us to understand how our society works and how we can work to be allies to those who do not enjoy the same privileges that we do. It takes a great deal of work to look inside and see what is really there - the racist and classist thoughts and to try and understand how they impact our interactions with other people. It is a life-long process and one that is very difficult. Realizing our own racist, classist and gender biases can be uncomfortable. Talking about them and challenging others racist, classist and gender biases is even more difficult. If, as an individual, you are committed to an egalitarian society it starts with you.

New Music

Deb and i were coming home from our many errands on Monday afternoon and heard this wonderful song on the CBC. The artists are Kasey Chambers and Shane Nicholson. If you like roots/country you will like this. Unfortunately the only place to get it is from Amazon right now. Here is their website where you can hear the title track ‘Rattlin’ Bones.’ Definitely worth a listen. I have ordered the disc from amazon and can’t wait for it to come. Kasey Chambers reminds me of Emmylou Harris.

Kasey and Shane

I have also been listening to a new Canadian artist named Jeremy Fisher. His stuff is quite interesting and different. Check him out on iTunes.

Bowling for blind dogs…

Piper has a new game. She spys Cliio down the hall and then runs into her full bore. In short, the pug is an asshole. Poor Clio is blind and can’t see her coming so it is really not fair. I am not sure why the pug is doing this to her except maybe jealousy. Of course, all that happens is Clio then gets more attention and Piper gets in trouble. She likes to harass Mabel too but at least Mabel has the ability to sort of see it coming (Mabel is a little blind and a little deaf). Piper leaves Mollie alone because I think she is not sure what Mollie will do to her. Mollie has this fierce shark attack routine she does where she jumps out of her bed and barks and growls like a demon. What the rest of them don’t know is that Mollie has no teeth. it is really kind of funny. They all think she is crazy and they give her a wide berth. Mollie’s favourite creature to shark attack is the cat. Mollie weighs 7 pounds and the cat about 27 pounds. It is really quite hysterical.

Life with 9 dogs can be very interesting. Sometimes, no most of the time, I feel like a slave. It is like this house is run for the sole convenience of the pets. It is not far from the truth. They go in and out as they would like, they eat when they demand it. Well, Mabel anyway. She barks and we have a Pavlovian response to go and look for chicken. I guess when you are 17 years old and you have a cancerous tumour on your leg you pretty much get what you want. Here is a great pic of Mabel doing her thing:

Mabel really enjoys going out on patrol in the yard. Even if she goes all the way to the back of the yard she seems to find her way back into the house. For a dog who was quite ill when she came here a year ago she is doing just great now. She is bright and alert and doing well on tramadol to manage her pain. She is still very engaged in life (when she is awake) and makes her needs known.

There is never a dull moment when you live with 9 dogs.

Plague of locusts??

As many of you know I have been dealing with major health issues since the end of November. It all started with loveley Dr. M…who took me off asacol and set this chain of events into motion. You see he decided that because of one symptom I had that I did not have colitis that I had irritable bowel syndrome. Apparently one can have both but he was positive that I had IBS rather than ulcerative colitis (UC). He was so sure he was the most condescending bastard doctor I have ever dealt with. I told him that I had seen 5 doctors and no one had ever suggested IBS that everyone said I had colitis. He scheduled the colonoscopy anyway. I also told him about difficulty I had taking asacol and that I was unable to take the full dose as it made me very sick. He told me I just needed to to go off of it and eat more fibre. Well, for someone with UC eating more fibre is a recipe for disaster. But I believed him and I followed his instructions.

On November 23, 2007 I had the colonoscopy and he says “oh, you have colitis” I said, sarcastically, “really??” I never would have guessed. So he hands me a prescription for double the amount of asacol I had been taking. I told him I could not take that amount. He said well eat more fibre and play around with the dose. I asked him about immunosuppressants as I had not gotten anywhere with my colitis for 2 years and he laughed and told me I would never get those drugs because they cause cancer. I asked when I would see him again and he said never, my gp could handle it. I was almost in tears. This colonoscopy and doctor were supposed to fix my problem and instead he left me feeling completely dismissed and helpless.

A couple of days later I developed what I thought was a boil under my right eye. So, off I go to the doctor who prescribes keflex. The week goes on, my eye gets worse so that I can barely close it. I go back to her on Friday and she sends me to the hospital to have it lanced and to get IV antibiotics. Well, let me tell you that was no fun. I am not sure what hurt more the needle to numb it or when she cut it open. Anyway, they immediately cultured the stuff that came out and started me on IV antibiotics. At first I only had to go once a day. Then I developed a lesion on my stomach and they changed the antibiotic and I had to go twice a day. Now, I have crappy veins and it takes a long time to get an IV in me. We did this for 10 days. I was not amused. Finally, when they could not get any more veins they let me take them orally and sent me to the home care nurses who realized that we were not dealing with an infection but with pyoderma gangrenosum. It is a wonder no one else figured it out because they kept culturing all my lesions and nothing grew. I kept asking what this meant and all they would say was that it was not helpful. I am so grateful to those nurses!! I went to see a dertmatologist and he put me on prednisone to try and calm it down. I still had to have daily dressing changes for about 2 months and could not shower for the longest time.

My colitis continued to act up all through december and january. By the end of january I was close to hemorrhaging. I had lost a lot of blood and could barely stay awake. Off to the hospital we went where I spent 12 days on huge doses of prednisone and morphine. Apparently so much morphine that I was hallucinating but I don’t really remember much about it. I spent the next couple of months weaning down from 290 mg of morphine twice a day and 80 mg of prednisone. I off the morphine but still have 5 weeks of prednisone to go.

So, just when things are starting to get better. I am out walking 3-4 times a week I get shingles. I had this weird pain in my back which I thought was just a knot and could not wait to see my massage therapist to get it worked out. It had been bothering me for about 6 weeks and was very sore. Then I get this rash. Deb says: “you have shingles“. I say no, couldn’t be. Saturday morning i checked the mayo clinic website and sure enough i have shingles. Off to the walk in clinic where I am told yes, you have shingles and how long have you had the rash and why did you not get this looked at 3 days ago. Sigh. Can’t win. So now I am on anti-virals, atarax for the itching, gabapentin for the nerve pain and amitrityline for the severe pain at night. Oh and morphine to take the edge off because I have it here.

So, not wanting to invite trouble but what could happen next?? At least I know now I don’t have breast cancer because the pain I was feeling in that area was the shingles. My ashtma is not acting up it was just hard to breath because I had a band of shingles around my lungs. So feel free to guess in the comments what could possible plague Chris next!!

The Stench!

Ok, I am now convinced that I live with a woman who has gone over the edge. Deb loves her dogs, we all know that. But the question is: How much does Deb love her dogs? She decided that they needed homemade, dehydrated liver treats. This involved boiling liver and then drying it in the oven all night. I got up this morning and was retching from the smell! I am not sure how Angelina slept all night through the stench. Even our most powerful incense has not been enough to kill the smell.

One might ask why Deb is making these treats. And somehow I get factored into the reasoning. She claims to be doing it so that Piper will stop fence-fighting with the new neighbours dogs. So, there it is now all my fault that the house smells so bad.