I was at the local grocery store today and I saw a mother with her child. The child had a harness on and there was a leash attached to it. Now, I am not sure if there was a reason for this but none that I observed. She was holding the little girl’s hand in addition to having her leashed. I don’t have children (and maybe some of you who do will comment) but I can’t see why you would want to leash them unless they were so fast and destructive that it was for thier own safety. This little girl just seemed to be learning to walk and the leash seemed really bizarre. Maybe it is just me.
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Dispatches from the Swamp 
It’s not just you. I’ve seen the same little curly-haired girl wearing a leather harness and leash. I wonder how it will affect her psyche as she grows older. Are there so many things going on with this woman that tethering her child is is easier than paying attention to her?
I walk my dogs off leash, and they require my full attention. I’m happy to give it to them because I want them to be safe while they are having fun. I can’t imagine leashing a child, I can’t imagine anything in the world being more important to her mom than she is.
I think i had a “hand holder” which was a velcro attachment for Rebecca when she was a toddler. It was because she would do crazy stuff like hide in clothes racks, climb stuff, and run off into oncoming traffic.
It takes time to train a toddler 🙂 they don’t sit stay or anything.
I did perfect things with Ian, and I was a single mother by then. I got one of those back packs and kept him there. Mostly it worked, except when I was in bookstores and he thought it was funny to pull out books and throw them on the ground.
Are my kids messed up… I don’t think so, not more than most kids. 🙂
My brother had one of those harnesses and I used to pretend he was my dog …because I wasn’t allowed to have a real one. Is he messed up, naw but he is happy with a career at Staples…maybe it took all his ambition away. 🙂
Were not talking a handholder thing. This little girl is wearing a full harness – it kind of looked like suspenders from The Sound of Music. She did not seem overly active or rambunctious. It was very strange.
My brother had one of those things. I know what you are talking about they are from the 60’s….when smoking and drinking during pregnancy was considered ok.
However, now most mothers keep kids in strollers wayyyy beyond when they should be in one….
I used one for my daughter, and I consider them the best, safest, most wonderful invention ever. Just as you seatbelt a kid in a car because your arm is not strong enough nor your reflexes fast enough to stop them from injury when the unexpected occurs, a harness for a small child who might suddenly yank free of your hand and dart in front of traffic in the parking lot, or disappear into a stranger’s grasp, is simply a safety device to use while mom is shopping.
After all, if we are reading labels, comparing prices, matching pieces of clothing, our attention is NOT 100% on our child. While strollers can contain children, how is anchoring a child in a stroller any different from anchoring her to your wrist or belt with a harness? It’s not – except the harness gives the child more exercise.
My kid turned into a very well adjusted adult. Count me on the pro-harness side.
My mom had one of those harnesses for me when I was little. I’m sure I was fairly quiet & docile while *in* it, but when I wasn’t, I took off all the time. My mom had my baby sister to look after when I was two, which was around when I started taking off. One time, my grandmother happened to be at the same shopping centre & found me at the opposite end of the shopping mall, alone, escaped from my parents. I think that was when I was a year & a half or maybe two.
When I think about putting a kid of mine in a harness, I shudder. it does seem a bit draconian to tie them up like a dog… But I don’t really think the wrist ones are so bad. Anything’s better than losing your kid for a few minutes or worse, them getting run over.
Well, she only had one kid. How do most parents manage their children then? I don’t see many leashed kids. I can understand it in certain circumstances like when the child has ADHD or something like that and is prone to running into traffic…but in a grocery store, with just one kid? I just don’t get it.
I am, for the most part, not so keen on leashing children. I have prided myself on maintaining verbal control of my children OR leaving the store. They have the choice….we behave, or we sit in the car and wait while Daddy does the shopping. In the absence of Daddy, I will leave with them. I have certain expectations of my children’s behaviour in public, I always have. And 95% of the time, my kids adhere to that. That being said, I have a friend who has a “wild child” of a son, and she has occasionally leashed him (although not in my presence).
I think a leash on a child is just another thing that encourages parents to pay attention to other things, rather than their child’s behaviour or location. Now, I see the benefits, but I think as parents, it’s our responsibility to be vigilant of our children’s safety, I may get slagged for that, but I am the mother of 2 small children who have NEVER been leashed, and never will be.
If I can’t control them, I have no right taking them out.
That’s my opinion!
“If I can’t control them, I have no right taking them out”.
Ah, all well and good if you have another parent to leave the child with, or money for a sitter. Single moms don’t usually have that luxury and don’t always have family or friends around. That was certainly my situation. The idea that I could just grab the child and haul her back home is laughable – I was running between work/daycare/home/housework/bedtimes/and countless other things. And unlike a dog, the option to leave her home alone isn’t legal. I needed to get my shopping done, and get it done with my child at my side.
But to me, it isn’t about “controlling” a “wild child” – it’s about safety. My kid wasn’t wild, but a harness allowed her some independence and exercise without the danger of harm. It was a progression – from stroller to harness to no physical restraint, a natural progression as her mind and body grew.
I’m surprised that people who love dogs would be opposed to harnesses for kids in preference to “voice control” – by extension of your arguments, would you not leash your dog in populated places like malls and city streets EVEN IF the dog is well behaved, trained, has reliable recall, etc? Are you suggesting that children’s lives are somehow less valuable than dogs’? After all, the cognitive skills of most adult dogs is pretty similar to the cognitive skills of most two year olds.
Until a child has the cognitive skills to anticipate consequences, the mental focus to keep track of her own position relative to the parent’s, the maturity to make wise decisions, the restriction of a harness provides freedom within reasonable parameters – for both the child and the parent.
Are you comparing my children to my dogs?
There is more than the safety of the dog, as a reason to leash them, safety of others, quelling other’s fears are 2. I can hold my child’s hand, and thank you, I HAVE BEEN a single parent, and you know what? If my children acted up, we left.
I have 4 kids, and with my oldest 2, I was a single parent, with no car yet, trying to make it work, but I absolutely refused to have children getting into everything, racing around, yelling, screaming, throwing tantrums. I left the store. Whether we sat outside until the kids calmed down (and they were 1.5 and 2.5 at the time), or we went home and tried again another day, I have NEVER leashed any of my 4 kids. My children have hands I can hold…my dogs don’t. So by your statement should we also have to license our kids? It’s ludicrous to even compare dogs to children.
I don’t know what kinds of dogs/kids you have had (not trying to be insulting) but my dogs hear and understand me just fine (my hound doesn’t listen so well mind you, but she hears and understands me), and my 2 year old daughter has exceptional comprehention. MY god, she knows the name of the town and the country we live in. She has yet to learn the province, but hey Saskatchewan’s a pretty big word to try and remember.
Until a child has the cognitive skills to anticipate consequences, I BELIEVE (as is my choice) that it’s a parent’s responsibility, not Fisher Price’s, to ensure their child is safe. We evolved with 2 hands for a reason!
I live in a tiny town, no sidewalks, dirt roads, no lanes, and traffic that goes wherever, whenever it wants. How is it my 2 year old is able to comprehend that, and to make a point of telling me when she believes she’s not in a safe position? Of course she is, because I HOLD HER HAND.
As for “freedom within reasonable parameters for both child and parent” the key there is “for parents”. The closer you keep your kids, the more you can teach them. If they are 3 feet out ahead of you, you can’t show them the miracle of a butterfly that’s landed right in front of you, when they are 3 feet in front of you, you can’t tell them to “hush” to hear the sound of nature. Not to sound harsh, or crass, but I honestly believe a leashed child is a distanced child. After all 3 feet (physically or mentally) is still distance.
I enjoy holding my kids’ hands. Yes, I sometimes have to let go, and yes they do wander a couple of feet from me to look at something on the shelf, but they both (again, 4 years and 2 years) understand “stay close” means “within a few feet”, and both listen.
It comes down to what you’re willing to put into teaching them what it is you expect from them. I wouldn’t say it’s not practicle for a single parent to live by these standards, since I was one, and I did. Again, it’s about how important the lesson is to you. To me it was important.
Oh, and there’s nothing “natural” about a harness…if there was, we’d have evolved with one that fell off when we didn’t need them anymore. Our natural “harness” is our hands, they were put there, accessible to children, for a reason.
Whatever. And yes, I do believe parents should have to have a licence to have a child.
I didn’t ask if parents should be licensed, I asked if KIDS should be.
Dog owners aren’t licensed, dogs are, you think it should be the same for children?
Well you can actually register your children with the local police station in case they get lost.
Toddlers are pretty wild, they are at that stage where they get into everything and anything.
If I had to, I would say that a toddler is like a puppy, and if you ever took a puppy to a mall when you had to shop for groceries etc it would be hard to leave it leash free.
When you are on a fixed budget, it’s hard to find a sitter etc. Especially if you are a single mom (but by then I graduated to the backpack, which is much more “humane” (?)
And, no I did not live in a small town, I lived in Toronto, and would go to crowded places like the St Lawrence Market. I watched my kids and taught them the rules of good behavior, and my son has ADD.
Still I don’t feel that I have a right to judge the woman with the harness- not until I walked a mile in her shoes.
I digress. Everyone’s entitled to their opinions, and to their choices, that’s what makes this a free country.
I personally feel that my children are not animals, and never have been. They’ve never needed a leash.
I live in a small town now, but I used to live in Surrey, and in Edmonton….not exactly small towns. I was a single parent, I had a fixed budget, I didn’t even KNOW a sitter then, I was out of my element, no friends, no family, just seperated from my ex husband…trust me, I get it, I understand.
I’m opinionated about someone I know with an almost 4 year old (2.5 weeks till his b-day) who still has a soother too. Thankfully, as a Canadian, that’s my right. When parents stop doing things because it’s easier for THEM, rather than better for their kids, we won’t have the kinds of problems we have with teens and young adults now. Self discipline, self confidence, and closeness…I believe those are detrimental to teaching our kids to live in harmony. Why not start when they are young? Everywhere I go I get comments about how well behaved my children are. When I say this, I mean that at least once a day, when we are somewhere other than our small town, someone comments. I am not a drill sergeant, I don’t run a mean house by any means, but I do have expectations for my kids behaviour, and they know and understand that.
I look around, I see SOOO much parenting where the parents just don’t want to do the work….it’s a pity, that’s a whole generation of kids who aren’t going to want to do the work either. Kids learn by example.