The Inmates have taken over the Asylum

It has been a while since we had an installment about the inmates and how they run roughshod over lives. I am not really up to full sentences so I think I will go with bullets:

  • We had some lilies that were sent to me when I was sick. The other day we noticed that Zoe had a little golden patch on her side. I guess the flowers (which were on the table) got in her way as she was lounging and barking on the dining room table. Now, please resist the urge to ask why the dog is on the table. It will do you no good.
  • WWF – we have a little problem with our little girls. We like to envision them as sweet as little buttercups prancing through the meadows while they all gaze lovingly into each other’s eyes.* Screech!!! Change directions!!! We have the WWF** The scrap, Zoe, Gemma Joy and Piper are unapologetic little scrappers and Zoe is the scrappiest scrapper of them all! The other night we had 3 fights in bed. They are jealous and jockeying for position etc. This of course is all our fault. We never really expected much from the pug – doing her business outside, coming when called and the occasional sit was all we really required of her. Then Gemmie came. She has terminal cancer so we really did not expect her to do anything but eat and make up for the crap life she had before. Oh and look cute.  Then Zoe came. She is cute and had a crap life and well, you expect shihtzus to be a bit rough around the edges. We have now put them on the nothing in life is free and they must sit when told and come when called. Zoe has been getting the ‘perp’ walk the most as she never wants to come when she is called unless food is involved.

Don't believe everything you read!

Look at this face!

Do I look guilty?

  • The other day, Deb made a lovely Caesar salad (ok, it was leftover Caesar salad from Swiss chalet the night before) with chicken on it. She put it on her desk and walked away. Deb is not used to having to put food up high when left unattended. She learned the hard way. Kiefer apparently likes Caesar salad. He was kind he left her 2 leaves of lettuce. There was another incident where Deb had stuff from White Spot – most likely and her food disappeared. She found the french fry container under a dog bed the other day.

That is not lettuce you see between my teeth.

  • Sleeping is becoming related to pain. I end up with one or two of the little WWF sisters (they are no longer bacon sisters because I can’t eat bacon for some reason, nor eggs…hmmm) pressed up against me all night. I only get to move if I get up and then I have to re-position myself and move them over a bit.

*I know a great definition of anthropomorphism
**Ok, I know it is now the WWE but I grew up knowing it as the WWF

December 3, 2009 Mitzvah Update

Today I sent flowers to one of my staff because she just had surgery. I sent them personally because we don’t have any money for that at work.

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Published in: on December 3, 2009 at 5:51 pm  Leave a Comment  

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