Sometimes I feel bad about always running late. I try really hard to get out of the house on time but I am almost always thwarted by an unpredictable colon, small emergencies, a canine catastrophe or too many damn piddles on the floor! Today was a stellar example of the perfect storm that screws with my day.

First off, I somehow screwed up my alarm clock so I ended up getting up an hour late. I had a massage scheduled for 11:15 but I did not realize my error until I was in the car and was positive that the clock was wrong. I based this thinking on the fact that I had let my car battery run down over Christmas and that made me late Tuesday. I digress. I had a shower and was getting ready when I was hit with my first issue of the day – the unpredictable colon. Ten minutes later, I am back to getting dressed. Once I am ready, I start trying to get the pug to wake up. We had already done a round of belly rubs but she went back to sleep. So we have to start over again. She is laying on her back with all 4 legs in the air, waiting and in fact refusing to move until she gets her belly rub. I give it a cursory rub, sound all excited and try to get her to move. She won’t move though. So I try to flip her over – which is not easy, pick her up and put her down. I finally do this and she acts like she has to get her land legs after being at sea for a long period of time! Finally, she gets going, fixes her tail and trots down the stairs. We go to the living room door so I can let her and Sawyer out. Piper goes out but apparently the boy is afraid of the cat and won’t go by her. He has to go out another door.

I get the dogs out and I start getting my stuff ready to go.[1] Then the phone rings; I answer it on my way to get the mop to clean up the piddles that have been deposited in the last hour or so since Deb left. I give her the address she wanted and go to let the dogs in. Sawyer comes in and Piper refuses. I then have colon interuptus again which takes another 10 minutes of my time. I get my Ensure and water ready to go and I deposit the can in the recycling. I call Piper and she finally decides to come in. I finally get to my desk to discover that the thermos I brought back with me is the one with the water for the car, not the one with the Ensure. I finally take my pills, both sets because I forgot to take my early morning ones up last night. I finally start heading for the door, I turn the heat up for the dogs and there, right in front of me is yet another piddle. I go back for the mop and clean it up. I go to leave and remember I need cash for the massage I still think I am having. Finally, I get in the car and leave.

When I got in the car and actually registered the time, I was pretty sure the time was wrong. I checked my phone and GPS and it all said the same time. Finally, I phone Deb to find out what time it is and learn that I was completely out to lunch. So, I just went to work and I was almost on time!

[1] I was still laboring under the delusion that I was going for a massage!


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