I was tempted to paint the blog black in my disgust at the Conservative party majority government but then Stephen Harper would make me miss a blog posting. This morning Deb started a post on Facebook about all the people who voted for the Cons. I contributed some as well (we are evil and we work well together). Deb used to blog at Fat People are Hard to Kidnap. So without further ado, here is the first guest post at Dispatches from the Swamp:

By Alphamutt

To everyone who voted for the NDP in yesterday’s disastrous election, thank you for doing the right thing. For those Camericans who voted for Despot Harpie and his gang of hangers-on, perhaps you might think about picking up your cowboy hats, long guns, Viagra prescriptions, bibles, high school diplomas, Toronto Maple Leafs hats, “My Canada is a WASP Canada” signs, yard dogs, mobile homes, beer fridges, your holy grail of intellectual stimulation: The Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition, your CB antennas, your “God is my Co-Pilot” bumper stickers, your prime cooking appliance – the burn barrel (and your favorite foods – hot dogs, beef jerky and beer), and your secondary appliance, the turkey deep-fryer, your well-worn copies of Speaking in Tongues for Dummies and your barbecues, pack it all up in your ball-wearing, smoke-spewing, gas-guzzling, primer-adorned pick-up trucks and make a dash for the US. Land is cheap in Arkansas, the banks will be happy to sell you another mobile home at a rock bottom price, so your mother and her fourth husband can live right next door.

Oh, and if all y’all don’t mind, could you please take the 45% of Canadians who were too lazy or stupid or (yeah, lazy or stupid covers it) to vote yesterday with you? They are worse than you, but they have no right to be here, and we don’t want them. Maybe they can find some cult to join in Nebraska or New Mexico … they should be easy to program, they have no thoughts or feelings and they seem to thrive on doing nothing.

3 thoughts on “Crying in our beer… if we drank beer…

  1. Chris, I was truly nauseated when I saw the election results. Quebec seemed to be the most clued in. The rest of the country was pretty damned shameful. Harper should be modeling suits for Sears.
    This will be a sad era for Canada. Extremely disappointed in the lack of understanding….

  2. Okay, I voted NDP, but I have a long gun and I like hot dogs. Can I stay in Canada, anyways? PLEASE??????

  3. Indeed…But it’s something of a misnomer to call these people, or that pathetic party of traitors and collaborators “Conservatives.”

    Old-school Canadian Toryism–that built and protected our country and its’ sovereignty into the 1960s–died in 1984: These are Junior Republicans.

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