Focus on the Family has decided to give up fighting same-sex marriage. I guess all those fundamentalist Christians, who predicted the demise of marriage if it was extended to the gays, has accepted defeat. The polls show that a clear majority of people in the United States now supports same-sex marriage. As it becomes legal in more and more States people are finally seeing that extending marriage to same-sex couples did nothing to harm ‘traditional’ marriage.
Prior to the court decision legalizing same-sex marriage in Canada, I never really gave much thought to getting married. I had accepted that it was not going to be possible for me. I was content with the commitment ceremony we had in 2000. Something shifted in me when the court decision came down in BC. We decided to get married in October 2003. Part of the reason we did get married was to add yet another couple to the numbers of married homosexuals.
Even though we thought it was a perfunctory act, it nonetheless changed the quality of our relationship. We began to feel more like a family. It seemed to deepen the connection and responsibility we felt for each other. No longer were we ‘just living together’ we were actually a married couple, recognized by the state. When I changed my last name to Deb’s the transformation was complete. We had become a family.
While Focus on Family is no longer going to pick on us they will continue to focus a great deal of their energy on anti-choice initiatives. However, the head of Focus on the Family is encouraging right-wing Christians to work on their own marriages. He points out that high divorce rates amongst conservative politicians. Personally, I would welcome this group and the people it represents turning their energies in on themselves rather than trying to tell the rest of us how to live our lives.