What a week!

I made a decision in December to become a more active agent of change in my life. I wanted to stop being passive and reacting to things happening to me. Instead, I wanted to have a say in how things in my life happen. This decision has many implications some for my life. I really want to get some control over my health. Being adopted, I know nothing really about my medical history.[1] I had all my information from the Alberta adoption records.[2] I had done some research and thought I found my biological mother but I wasn’t really sure. Then I received a little more information and something didn’t sit well with me so I stopped just short of emailing her. I then decided to spend the money and hire a researcher.

On Monday, I received an email from the researcher that she had located my biological father. I was stunned. I had always anticipated finding my birth mother first and never really gave my biological father any thought. He lived in Richmond with his wife and he had 2 sons. I immediately looked the sons up on Facebook and found them. I then phoned my biological father. At first, he said it was not possible that he was my father but as I gave him more information he then remembered my birth mother.

We met him and his wife at White Spot in Richmond a couple of days later. It was so surreal. I bear a striking resemblance to him and one of my brothers. Unfortunately, it was very hard to hear him so I did not learn much about him. However, we will see each other again. He was not at all what I anticipated so I am taking some time to process this information. They are going to tell their sons. I am looking forward to meeting them at some point.

I did learn that my biological father had Graves disease at around the same time as I did. We both had to have surgery to correct our eyes from its ravages. We both also have a lazy eye. His sons have not had any thyroid issues to date.

As an adopted child you dream about who your biological parents will be based on who you are. It is quite a reality check when you meet one of them and realize that they are, in fact, nothing like you – or so it seems. I am hoping that as I get to know my biological father and his sons a bit that I will see glimpses of myself there beyond the obvious physical resemblance.


[1] Ok, I knew a couple of things: my father had a hyperthyroid and my mother was born with a hole in her heart. Obesity ran on both sides of the family.

[2] I received it in 2005.

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I’m happy to have been of service to locate your bio-family. I love bringing long-lost family together! Wishing you the best of luck in your reunions.

    The Forget Me Not Family Society is always there for your support too: http://www.adoptioncircles.net

    Amy

  2. I can’t even begin to imagine how surreal that must feel! Have fun getting to know these new family members – I hope you get to see those glimpses of other similarities too!

  3. A great adventure, getting in touch with your biological family. I do hope you’ll find it helpful in developing a more complete family medical history.
    A friend of mine just had her adoption story published in a newly-released book called “Somebody’s Child: Stories about Adoption” by Touchwood press: http://www.touchwoodeditions.com/book_details.php?isbn_upc=9781926971032

    I believe there is a facebook page, also, with links to reviews etc. I think some of the stories in the book may well resonate with you.

    Good luck in completing your search, forming new ties, and finding out more about your self and your history.

    Jean


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