Dispatches from the Swamp – the ‘I have been AWOL’ edition

  • I have neglected blog over the last couple of weeks. Sometimes life just gets in the way of blogging. It has been a difficult and trying time.
  • One of my oldest friends committed suicide 2 weeks ago. I had known her since 1995. We met at work and hit it off. Outwardly, she was one of the most positive, dynamic women I have ever known. She had a way of seeing the positive in everything. She was outgoing and gregarious. Her passion was helping other people. I was one of the last people she spoke to on the day she died. Her thoughts were torturing her; making her feel paranoid, scared and alone. Mental illness runs in her family. She hated everything to do with mental illness and she would never admit it was affecting her as well. She made a plan with me to see her doctor, take a leave from work and see a counselor. She never indicated that she was suicidal. And here is the thing about suicide; it is those who don’t talk about it who are the most at risk. Suicide is an intensely selfish act. It leaves a trail of destruction a mile wide and deep. So many people have been affected by her death, especially her close family members. Her death impacted me a great deal as we had been in close contact for the week leading up to her suicide. Emotionally[1], I feel responsible. I wish I had the courage to name what I saw going on and insist she seek medical help. I don’t know if it would have made a difference, probably not knowing my friend. I know what I will do differently going forward though – I will not be afraid to say what feel is going on for someone. Maybe some lesson or good can come from this, as that is all there is now.
  • Zoe – had a dental and lost 6 more teeth. She is doing really well since. She is now on Lasix for pulmonary edema. She has no heart issues, which is strange according to the vet. She also is clear of cancer and her blood work was great. She has also lost almost a pound!
  • Ruby[2] is also doing very well. She is also on Lasix for pulmonary edema with no cardiac issues. As former breeding dogs, we think both Zoe and Ruby lived in horrible conditions, which did damage to their lungs. She is so funny when she thinks a tasty treat is going to be involved. She hops around and looks at us so intensely. She cracks me up!
  • Piper has lost 2 pounds of the 4 pounds she needed to lose to improve her breathing after the surgery. We can see the difference already. She pants far less when it is hot out now.
  • We have finally decided to get our water pressure fixed. We have never had good water pressure here at The Swamp.[3] The theory right now is that the pipes bringing the water in are galvanized steel that has been corroding for a long time narrowing the amount of water that can come in. I have noticed about a 15% decrease in water pressure this year.

 


[1] I don’t deal well with emotions as anyone who knows me can attest.

[2] AKA Tuber

[3] Which is somewhat ironic…

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Published in: on July 1, 2012 at 11:05 am  Comments (1)  
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One CommentLeave a comment

  1. So sorry to hear about your friend, that is very sad. BTDT but in my case, fortunately the person survived their attempt & is doing quite well 15 years later. Depressed & suicidal people don’t think very clearly & are often convinced that they’re doing everyone a favour. Very tragic.

    It’s very hard on family & friends when you think back & consider whether you missed signs but as you say, the really clever smart people hide it very well. Take care of yourself; make sure you deal with it – esp since you admit you don’t deal with emotions well, please make sure you take care of this. best wishes.


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