The Closet

I could blog about the budget but that would be very boring. So, instead, I am going to blog about ‘the closet.’ This of course would the metaphorical ‘closet’ which all LGTB people are familiar.

I had my hair cut yesterday. Normally this is a benign activity if one does not want to look like Cousin It. My hair was beginning to take on a life of its own so I made an appointment. I had a great hairstylist who I just found but she went on maternity leave. So they put me with someone else. This stylist was not very bright and clearly did not hear the “I don’t want to lose the length” comment I made when we started, but I digress. Here is the conversation:

Hairstylist: Do you have children?

Me: No, we have dogs.

Hairstylist: How many dogs?

Me: Nine.

Hairstylist: What kinds?

Me: (rattled off the nine dogs names, ages and breeds)

Hairstylist: Your husband likes dogs too?

Me: My partner. Yes, my partner likes dogs.

inane chatter ensues….

Hairstylist: So what does your partner do for a living?

Me: She is an animal control officer.

Hairstylist: (hairstylist to rude women colleague (RW for short) Guess how many dogs this woman has? Nine!!!

RW: Do just really like dogs is that why you gather them up?

Me: Yes, we like dogs and we are involved with rescue.

RW: Does your husband like dogs too?

Me: Partner, and yes she likes dogs too.

RW & Hairstylist: Oh, ok.  We get it. We have gay friends. (much eye-rolling on my part)

RW: So, do you just have an aversion to men? Do you, like, hate them?

Me: No, I do not have an aversion to men. It just is.

RW: I don’t understand it.

Hairstylist: (whisks me away to wash my hair and tells me RW is rude) No shit!

RW: You should colour your hair. You are prematurely grey.

Me: No, I have done that and it is too much work.

RW: But you would look much younger.

Me: That’s ok.

RW: You should have your eyebrows waxed.

Me: Clippers, I use clippers on them.

RW: Well, as an eye brow wax professional, I have to tell you that is not a good idea.

Me: Oh well….

This was one weird conversation! I learned that I am totally incapable of being in the closet even when it makes me and others uncomfortable. I think that is a good thing although I am not sure. Clearly, RW needs a personality. I am not sure if it was because she was bored or she really is just that much of an idiot. Very bizarre!

Pet Peeves: Facial Hair

I decided to take a break from the political blogging for a moment and talk about something else. Like a lot of women, I have facial hair. I have a very distinct ‘moustache’ on my upper lip and due to polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) I have developed very dark coarse hair on my chin and below. One of the symptoms of PCOS is hirsutism. Some of the meds I have been on for years for PCOS have tamed some of the hair growth. The hair on my arms has thinned markedly and I have very little hair on my legs or under my arms as I stopped shaving years ago as it irritated my skin. It simply was not worth it. The hair on my legs is so fine and completely gone in some areas.

For the most part I have dealt with my facial hair mostly by plucking the heavier coarser ones and leaving the rest alone. It bothered me that it was there but not enough to really do something about it. I also thought having it removed would be outrageously expensive (I was wrong and more on that later). I had basically come to accept my facial hair as just part of life.

Fast-forward many years to December 2007. Yes, the year of the plague. I was put on whopping doses of prednisone to deal with my pyoderma gangrenosum and colitis. One of the major side effects of steroids is hair growth. My once manageable, albeit hirsute face, had suddenly gotten worse and I needed to find a solution. I did not want to start shaving, as I believed this would only make matters worse. I had read some blogs that indicated that laser hair removal was quite effective. We had a place in the local mall that did it so Deb picked me up a pamphlet. Yet still I hesitated.

I went to get my hair cut next door to this place last week. I decided to go in and I made an appointment for a consultation. I went today. I had the consultation and then a treatment. It will take probably 4 treatments at $85 each to get really good results. The tech said the pigment in my hair and my skin type made me an ideal person for laser hair removal – I am quite fair and the pigment is quite dark.

She started with the upper lip and I could smell the hair singing – which she said was a good sign. The pain was bearable but I would not be able to take much more so we decided I would get some Emla for the next treatment so she could increase the power of the laser. The area on my chin and underneath was fine. There were only a couple of sharp zaps and the rest it just seemed hot. My other big concern was how red my skin would be after the fact. I suffer enough with autoimmune induced facial rashes that I was not really into looking bad for several days. Right now, a couple of hours after treatment, there is no visible redness and it does not hurt at all.

I am a happy camper! I go back in a month for treatment number 2. In the meantime I intend to maintain my hair-free face with shaving.