So the G-8 and the G-20 (wouldn’t that make it the G-28?) are meeting in Toronto. Originally they were supposed to meet in the Muskoka region. I am not sure what changed. They spent huge amounts of money, getting that area ready and then moved it. Maybe they thought the protesters would get lost or something. I am not going to go into the details or harp on the evils of the G-whatevers or the protesters. Instead I would like to offer a plan for how they can hold their meetings in relative peace and quiet.
Antarctica. Antarctica is the solution. There are so many perks to having it at the southernmost tip of the planet. So let’s go through some of the issues and how Antarctica can contribute to whatever it is the Gs do.
1. Access – It would be so easy to control access. Seriously how many airlines fly to Antarctica. True Greenpeace may be able to get some boats in but I suspect the Canadian Navy could be contracted to ensure that no vessels made land fall.
2. Again, because of the isolated location very few protesters could get there. Even if they could get there where would they stay. With temperatures hovering in the -80 degrees Celsius. They are not really going to be staying outside for very long. I suppose they could develop some new ways like new protests designed to keep warm – but I digress.
3. Media – having the event in Antarctica will give them absolute control over what is released to media. They could do a press conference over Skype this would allow the masses to connect and could really be a great as Joe Blow from Buttfuck, Saskatchewan could ask a question.
4. There could also be designated protest zones all over the world. Think about how much jet fuel that would save. All those protesters could hold local events where they could walk or cycle. There would be no carbon off-sets to buy and nothing to feel guilty about.
5. A truly isolated location would definitely help the Gs focus and get some work done. Maybe then they could come up with some creative solutions to world’s problems.
6. One other benefit. When a world leader becomes too old or obstinate there will be plenty of ice floes to use.